We were very happy, Kim myself and our three children, Victoria 19, Austin 19 and Jennifer 16. We were in love; we had great jobs and a wonderful family. We thought we were invincible. We met in 2006 and married in 2008.
In 2009, we spent the year visiting specialists and discovered that I had an auto immune disease. We were relieved that I had a diagnosis, and were very grateful that it wasn’t something life threating. During this time, Kim started to have some pain in his back. For roughly 6 weeks he went to physiotherapy to help with this pinched nerve and bulging disc.
Finally the pain became unbearable for Kim. We requested that Kim have an MRI done. He phoned the hospital to see if he could get his appointment bumped up due to the intolerable pain. Eventually we reached a nurse that had a cancellation for the next day and said he could come in for it. At this point the pain in his back took his breath away and became excruciating for him. February 26, 2010, Kim was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer; it had spread to his lymph nodes and to 85% of his bones.
Kim had a PSA test done every year- every year he went for a physical. His father passed away from prostate cancer in 2006 and Kim was diligent about his health. However, in the year when we were so engaged with what was happening with me medically, he reluctantly got busy with life and did not get his blood work done as his doctor had requested.
His life today- our lives- could be, probably would be, much more different if he had had that PSA test done. Kim’s cancer progressed very fast; I look back and can remember him saying he felt tired. We chopped it up to stress with work. In reality the cancer was spreading at a rapid rate.
Today, my husband uses a walker because he has had spinal cord compression and can’t walk well. His prognosis is very poor, but his strength amazes me. He has had every treatment possible and has gone into each one of them embracing the possibility that this could give him more time, and more importantly, quality of time.
As a family we see the importance of remaining positive, as this journey is one that has affected each and every one of us. It has been very hard and yet we try to make the best out of every day that we have together. Kim is our pillar of strength and I admire him so.
As you can imagine, some days are much harder than others. The good days are really good. We have had amazing friends and family – helping out with the smallest tasks from housecleaning to meals. Helping out with the day to day elements allows us to focus on the family time. There’s power in numbers.
This year I am doing the Father’s Day Walk/Run again. I do this for my husband, but also to bring awareness for all the men out there, young and old. I’ve seen the impact that progress in medicine and research can make. The funds raised for research are so vital to new treatments.
Kim was only 41 when he got this disease. It’s not just an elder gentleman’s disease and the younger you are the more aggressive the cancer is. The best advice I can give to men and their wives? If you are over 40, please talk to your doctor about the PSA test. Don’t let life get in the way of your health.